Sis

..."tapame, tapame Tania" es lo que yo decía en las noches (hay grabaciones en cassette) durante mis primeros años de vida...ahora, si mi hermana me tapaba o no es otra cosa, pero si lo decía cada noche sería porque si me había tapado la noche anterior. Entonces me cuidaste desde siempre. También debería decir que me contaron por ahí que te gustaba pincharme los ojos con tus dedos, creo que era divertido para tí, y para mi...que se yo porque ni me acuerdo.

Como olvidar aquellas épicas peleas tirándonos manzanas directo a la cara (ese fui yo), pelotas de baseball a la cabeza (esa fuiste tú), bataso de baseball en la cabeza (ese fui yo), múltiples tiradas de pelo (ese fui yo, jeje), y de todo lo que estuviera a mano, persiguiéndonos por la casa. Me acuerdo cuándo se te quedó el pie metido en la puerta, le hiciste un hoyo a patadas (con zuecos) porque yo te dejé afuera, jaja. Después vino la etapa de pelear porque me sacabas mi ropa, obviamente sin preguntar, y siempre te pillaba (una de las ventajas de ser obsesivo compulsivo, maniático del órden y la limpieza). También hubo varias veces que nos defendimos, como esa vez en la D21 con el incidente aquel en que tuve que ir nomás a "enfrentarme" al personaje y decirle "huevón", jajaja, era fuerte en esos tiempos. O en Licanray cuándo le pegue un paletaso a la mina que por alguna razón te había molestado. Ya ni me acuerdo a cuánto jote tuve que corretear de la casa (ya esto duro varios años).

Siempre nos hemos querido, y eso se nota en las fotos cuando me ibas a dar un beso, mi cara lo dice todo, jaja, pero con el tiempo ya fue evolucionando la cosa. Bueno sis, Tania Inzunza, me despido con este breve saludo en tu cumpleaños 25 de mayo, espero lo hayas pasado super bien. En Valdivia te dejé unos regalines chikitos la última vez que fui, en realidad eran regalos de Navidad pero como no nos vimos ahí, vale para esta ocasión. Te quiero mucho, las peleas nos unen más, y sino sería muy fome, hermanos que no pelean no son muy hermanos que digamos.

Besines y abrazines

 

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The Only One

You gave me water and heat, when I was just a seed, took care of me like no one, even before you can feel I could move. Is this an instinct that males do not understand? Could it be that we become physically merged, but more strongly than that, blood and visceral fusion, or just love ... ?The truth is that I can not dimension it, hopefully one day I can come to understand that incredible sacrifice, leaving their daily lives for years, to become supermom. I think it must be one of the positive events that completely change the life of a person, and I think that is true, when moms say, nobody understands us like them. I lived inside of you for 9 months, you went through so many new things happening to your body, internally and externally, and then you had to go through all my childhood process, and we all know we are not easy when we are little, some of us until today :). Not even to mention that you had to go through birth, and all subsequent steps that change a woman's life. 


There's so much to write and express that it won't fit on this letter, which is addressed to all the moms of the world, those who are happily pregnant, those who just delivered and are happily with family, for those that are raising their children as single mothers (applause for them), those that have lost their children (only physically, because our soul will be close to yours), and for those who left to their second life and are no longer with their children (who will be forever grateful, and I hope they can communicate with their souls like I already mentioned), especially for my dear mother, crazy mom, Gabriela Olave, that I miss so much, I really did not think that it was gonna be this much, but I finally realize. 


I think that like everything in life, it doesn't matter how many times they repeat to you the same thing, one and only one has to comprehend it, because that is the time when your soul has really learned. I'm learning slowly, it took me a while, and I appreciate that I still have my Ma. Those who still have them with you, please enjoy them and spend as much time as you can with them, as if you were not to get another chance ... those who  parted ways from their moms, I think they should not force anything, and at some point a window will open so you can make up for that lost time. Those who have lost their moms, I have to say that the physical part is just the outside ... all the essence, the soul, what really matters, is still there, but you must learn to grasp, receive, believe in it ... some see it as that little angel that's always protecting you, the light that shines in your life, etc ... but do not think that communication no longer exists ... that tie NEVER ends.

Now, for the children who fight with their moms (like me now and when I was a children  ;) ), the time will also come to stop fighting. I wish that they didn't do it with rage, because rage uses many words that you don't really mean and you just use to hurt the other, and then come the regrets, and it is only a waste of time, because at the time they are apart, the only thing they both want is to be back together ... pride is a hard barrier to pass ... but love is stronger, look inside to find the weapons.

I say goodbye now, I could write much more, but is not my idea to bore you. Many hugs and kisses to all the Supermoms in the world, of all races and species, the ones that are with us and those who are already walking with the stars... they all went through the same process, all made us feel happy, and they are all responsible for bringing us into this life ... maybe in the next life the task will be ours, and we would finally understand what's to be a mom ...

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La Única

Me diste agua y calor, cuando apenas era una semilla, me cuidaste como nadie incluso antes de poder sentir que me movía. ¿Será un instinto que el género masculino no comprende? ¿Será que nos transformamos en una fusión física, pero más fuertemente sanguínea, visceral, simplemente amor...?

La verdad es que no lo puedo dimensionar, ojalá algún día pueda llegar a entenderlo, ese increible sacrificio, el dejar su vida cotidiana por años, para convertirse en supermamá. Creo que debe ser uno de los eventos positivos que cambian completamente la vida de una persona, y creo que es verdad, cuando dicen las mamás, nadie nos entiende como ellas.

Me cargaste y soportaste durante 9 meses, para después tener que hacer casi lo mismo durante toda la etapa de mi crecimiento...incluso hasta ser adulto. Ni siquiera mencionar que tuviste que pasar por un parto, y por todas las etapas posteriores que cambian el cuerpo de mujer, gracias a todo ese sacrificio.

Es tanto lo que hay por escribir y expresar, que no alcanza en este escrito, que va dirigido a todas las mamis del mundo, las que están felízmente embarazadas, aquellas que están felízmente en familia, para las que están criando a sus hijos como madres solteras (aplausos), las que han perdido a sus hijos (solo de forma física, porque siempre acompañaremos en el alma) y las que ya no están con sus hijos (quienes estarán siempre agradecidos, y ojala puedan comunicarse con sus almas con ya mencioné), en especial para mi madre querida, crazy mom, Gabriela Olave, que mucho te echo de menos, la verdad no pensé que fuera a ser tanto, pero finalmente me doy cuenta.

Creo que como todo en la vida, no importa cuántas veces te repitan lo mismo, uno se tiene que dar cuenta solo, porque ese es el momento en que realmente tu alma ha aprendido. Yo estoy aprendiendo de a poco, me costó bastante, y agradezco que todavía tengo a mi Ma. Los que aún pueden, aprovechenlas lo más que puedan, como si ya no fueran a tener otra oportunidad...los que las han perdido por abandono, o distanciamiento propio, creo que no hay que forzar nada, y ya en algún momento se abrirá una ventana para recuperar ese tiempo perdido. Los que las han perdido de forma física, me queda decir que, la parte física es solo lo de afuera...todo la esencia, el alma, lo que realmente importa, sigue estándo ahí, pero hay que aprender a captarlo...algunos lo ven como ese angelito que te esta siempre protegiendo, esa luz que brilla en tu vida, etc...pero no piensen ya no existe esa comunicación...el lazo no se termina NUNCA.

Ahora, para los hijos que pelean con sus mamis (como yo), también les llegará el momento de dejar de pelear. Ojalá no lo hicieran con rabia, porque con rabia se escapan muchas palabras que uno dice solamente para herir, y después vienen los arrepentimientos, y es solamente una pérdida de tiempo, porque en el momento que estan distanciados, lo único que ambos quieren es volver a estar juntos...el orgullo es una barrera difícil de pasar...pero el amor puede más, busquen en su interior para encontrar las armas.

Me despido, ya que podría escribir mucha más, pero la idea no es aburrir. Muchos besos y abrazos a todas las supermamas del mundo, de todas las razas y especies, las que están con nosotros y las que ya están paseando junto a los astros, todas pasaron por lo mismo, todas nos hicieron sentir felices, y todas ellas son las responsables de habernos traido a esta vida...quizás en la próxima la tarea será nuestra...

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A.S.

It's not that easy, try to simply describe the gift you that give me, when you let me feel you ...

Rain ... leaving my eyes, that for so long watching your silhouette fading into the cold night, fog that misses with rays of light, spill so many drops impregnated of your image, barely touching your cheeks, flooding deserts, that for a look awaken in colors, as those you emanate when you let yourself be seen, as the ones you bring in me, with the reflection of your eyes...I'm drowning in them, forever rest, infinite peace, just your look... your look is enough...

Smelling your presence, unmistakable scent of your skin, your hair, your pores releasing the essence that traps me inexplicably, inevitably. Breathe the air you inhale, when you exhale it purified and filtered by your lungs, those that give you the exact time not to get killed by a kiss ... breathe that air, to breathe you, merge your body with mine, without touching, just feel each other ...breathe what gives you life, completes my life, holds my life ... 

Hear the gentle blink of your eyes, your lashes crashing, the touch of your tongue to moisten your lips, your breathing. Heart beating, blood coursing within, to feel you alive ... words coming out of your mouth, like arrows pierce into my soul, never to come off, as long as you feed the charm that captivates me with every sentence sweetly gushing from the magic door that your lips form... I will keep listening ... daydreaming ...

What else to ask for than just to caress you, touch your nose with the tip of my fingers, walking down your cheeks ... tender cheeks. Wipe your mouth with a little sigh ... that you trigger when you smile. Close your eyes to feel your eyelids ... beautiful windows of your soul. Rub your ears almost imperceptibly ... I am still by your side ... for much more. Touch for a second the back of your neck, the top of your spine where your hair hits, that leaves that exquisite fragrance ... that makes me forget the world ...

Someday, I wish, I hope not too late, for as long as we can, I can merge my lips to yours, and raise our bodies, lose all consciousness, only that kiss matters, even if it lasts only a second ... would be the most tender and beautiful second ... our second ...

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Those Eyes In My Dreams

And once again, your eyes opened in my dreams, waking me from reality, or at least what I think that was...your face remains blurry, your glance keeps calling me, and I just follow them, like I'm hypnotized, like I'm floating...

When the oceans were painted from above, droplets spilled to form what your eyes are today, those I see in my dreams, where I hope to drown someday, not expecting to be saved, unless that salvation requires a gentle awakening by the touch of your lips...

Maybe I've seen you already, cause the feeling is there everyday, searching for those stranger's eyes that try to guide me somewhere I still don't know. Persistent is the feeling while I think I'm awake, sometimes I think I see you everywhere...I'll just wait to be sure, or to catch you on my dreams...maybe is better to know you're just there...for me, than out there for someone else.

So I still can't picture your face, not even a little bit...but what keeps me wondering, even if this is not real, is why the sad look? I guess that's the strongest reason why I keep following you while dreaming (and searching for you while awake), cause I can't imagine someone causing you pain, not to those eyes, not to that tender presence so privileged to be able to look through them every day.

I really hope I can get closer to you today, or tomorrow, whether in my dreams or in "real" life, so I can dry your tears, that never should've fallen, wrap you in my arms and never let you go, not again.

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The Changing of an Age

An age begins with the birth of ideas. New ideals enter the collective consciousness, and new possibilities of living and relating begin to emerge. New social structures are seeded, to later take shape as social institutions. Discoveries in different areas-economic, scientific, or social-emerge to gradually have widespread effects.

What is born at the beginning of an age creates an evolution in civilization. In the early phases the energies are youthful. They are new and fresh-vital and alive. The ideas ad understandings are in a "pure" form. They are often idealistic-perhaps not yet realistic-but they speak of possibilities that move us.

Over times these ideas crystallize into established thought and behavioral patterns, and into social organizations and institutions. Toward the end of the age, the ideas have become fixtures of the civilization. foundational structures upon which the next age will be built. Each age makes its contribution to the evolutionary process, to be built upon by the succeeding age.

There is a metaphor in the East ...The cycle of the ages is called the Wheel of Dharma. The Wheel gets an initiating impulse that spins every 2,160 years. Gradually the Wheel runs down. Things get sluggish and stagnant, crystallized and rigid. Then the next zodiacal sign comes in at the beginning of the next age. The Wheel is again spun. There is a new impulse, bringing new ideas and life to initiate new developments in culture and civilization.

We are now in the moment when the Wheel of Dharma is getting its initiating impulse. New ideas and ideals are pouring into the human sphere from the inner planes. New capacities are emerging within the human psyche. New inventions in all walks of life are being discovered.

Thoughts and feelings, social values and mores, and institutions and organizations, have become heavy and dense. Thought the Piscean energies are withdrawing and diminishing, the crystallized forms or shells if these energies remain large and still posses great momentum. The Wheel that is being spun has to break free of the Old that holds it, as it is breaking up and cracking. Ad with all things living, though, the Old holds on to what is known and fights to keep its place. 

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Bad manners or just a part of canadian culture??

There's soooooo many good things about this country, much more than bad things, but talking about good things is boring, maybe next time.

I come from Southamerica, Chile. I am going to generalize here a little bit cause I actually don't know every country in the south, but I'm pretty sure that Chile is not the exception at all. Actually, if I think about it, most of Europe, and because I just said southamerica and not latinamerica, I am also including Mexico (I know its in northamerica btw) cause I have very good friends from there and I know how it is (I've been to Mexico too), so maybe this happens just Canada and USA???

I am talking about saying "hello" and "goodbye" when you enter and leave somewhere, a store, the office at work (which is mainly why I am writing this), saying "good morning" to the bus driver, and "thank you" when you get off, the same thing when you're getting a coffee (and I know that's like a drug to people here), please when you ask for something. leave you seat to the elders and pregnant women at the bus (I think I shouldn't even be saying this, it´s so obvious for me at least, and there's fkn signs everywhere asking you to do some of this things).

There are so many things that I don't even know where to start from. I think saying good morning, hello, hey, hi, whatever, it has to be an education thing. And I am not even asking to kiss you on the cheek like we always do (even when is a stranger), and also in Europe. Is just 1 word, 2 words at the most. If the case is that you don't want to say it, at least you can say it back when people with better manners say it to you. Am I actually very wrong here??? It took me probably like 4 months to get used to the fact that, no matter the day or the person, they just don't say hello unless you step in front of them and say it to them. Sad thing is that I got use to that, and now I am doing the same thing. How many times you say hello to someone that never says it back?? I actually say "see ya" very loud to make sure they all hear me, and so when they don't say it back, they know how rude they are. Some of this things happened to me, others to a friend, and most latinamericans I've met here say the same thing. They are not bad people, they just don't do that specific thing unless you say it to their faces.

This one is kind of funny for me cause I do it to, specially when my mom is around, but I do it to bug her. Burp and then say "excuse me". Ok, so we burp too right, is natural, but if you force it, why the hell you say excuse me. you did it on purpose, it didn't came out naturally, so stupid. And no matter if there's a woman there, a granny, doesn't matter. When we do it we say excuse me but because we didn't meant that to happen, and we are not gonna keep doing it every 5 minutes and just fix it with an excuse me right after...it's a little bit cinical.

Some people could say, "oh, maybe is where you work", and NO, cause I've work in more than 2 places, different cities, and it happens everywhere. Of course I am not saying everybody does it, I am saying general.

And what's that about spitting everywhere you walk??, we have an animal called "Guanaco", he spits, as part of his nature. same thing for you people??? 

I guess that they're very cold people, some say it's because of the weather...I don't know. I hope you tell me. Anyways, I am used to this already, of course I don't do these things, and I am very far to start doing even one.

Go Canada !!  Still better than Chile in a lot of things....I am just talking about the people., just being honest

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Inés

Inspírame otra vez, que no quiero dejar de escribir. Ya cambiaron las motivaciones cuando decidiste emprender tu viaje, sin mí, sin aviso y muy muy lejos, lo sé porque te busqué mil veces y ni rastro tuyo encontré…

Necesidad no sé si llamarla, por lo menos no es necesidad de ti, más puede ser de tu simpleza y detalles que me cambiaban el día…bastaba un leve roce, un suspiro, una sonrisa, un pestañeo coqueto de esas verdes mariposas que tanto cuide y que tanto me enamoraban. Ojalá sea un “quiero”, que si es un “necesito”, más perdido no podría estar…

Exquisitos desenlaces, cabellos en conflicto, rugidos silenciosos, temblorosos, infinitos. Tu inocente mirada como preguntando qué es lo que traerán los ríos, y más aún si no te gustan las sorpresas, por no saber cómo reaccionar si el resultado no es de tu agrado. Me encanta esa sinceridad de las que quedan muy pocas en estos tiempos…

Silenciosas palabras detenidas de tu boca, no tienes que hablar para hacerme entender…tu mirada siempre fue increíblemente expresiva, no sé si tú te diste cuenta alguna vez, de cuanto es que tus ojos te delatan. Por eso al ver tus lágrimas caer sabía que había llegado tu momento, y que no mirarías atrás…te alejabas a crear una nueva historia con páginas de agonía en mis libros, quizás páginas de esperanza en el tuyo…    

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Illusion

On a night like this, 
I came across your aura
I stroked your shadow, 
and I accompanied your light.

On a night like this,  
I was expecting an answer
I was anxious and very fearful.

On a night like this, 
that light went out
Your shadow lighted up,
and changed your destiny.

On a night like this, 
you left me all by myself.
I lost all that was yours
Even your melancholy.

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Moments

The sun was born 
You are dead
In an instant
And in complete silence.

Now everything is clearer
The clouds are gone over me
And the new sun guides me in a new way.

I think I've found the cure to the incurable
The solution to all my problems
And the path to the unknown.

All this I have found
In a very deep thinking
That gradually fades
In just a faraway look
Aiming for the horizon
And observing a human figure at times.

How could I change in seconds?
Maybe the impression of seeing you makes me fear
And I unconsciously change my mind
Just for a second.

The sun dies
You are reborn in my heart
And I feel very close to you
But only for seconds.

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