Tuesday, July 8, 2014

A.S.

No es tan fácil simplemente, tratar de describir el regalo que me das, al dejarte sentir…

…Lluvia dejando mis ojos, que por tanto observar tu silueta desvaneciendo en la noche fría, niebla que se pierde con los rayos de luz, derraman tantas gotas impregnadas de tu imagen, rozando las mejillas, empapando los desiertos, que por una mirada despiertan en colores, como los que tú emanas al dejarte ver, cómo los que produces en mí, con el reflejo de tus ojos…me ahogo junto a ellos, descanso para siempre, paz infinita, solo tu mirada…basta tu mirada…  

….Oler tu presencia, inconfundible aroma de tu piel, tu pelo, tus poros liberando la esencia, que me atrapa inexplicablemente, inevitablemente. Respirar el aire que inhalas al momento de exhalarlo, purificado y filtrado por tus pulmones, esos que te dan el tiempo exacto para no perder la vida por un beso…respirar ese aire, respirarte a ti, unir tu cuerpo con el mío, sin tocarnos, solo sentirnos…respirar lo que te da la vida, completa mi vida, sostiene mi vida…

…Oír el suave abrir y cerrar de tus ojos, tus pestañas al chocar, el toque de tu lengua al humedecer tus labios, tu respiración. Corazón al palpitar, sangre recorriendo tu interior, sentirte viva…palabras saliendo de tu boca, como flechas se clavan en mi alma, sin desprenderse jamás, mientras sigas alimentando el encanto, que me hechiza con cada frase brotando dulcemente de la mágica puerta que forman tus labios…seguiré escuchando…soñando despierto…

…Que más pedir que solo acariciarte, rozar tu nariz con la yema de mis dedos, pasear por tus mejillas…tiernas mejillas. Secar tu boca con un leve suspiro…que provocas al sonreír. Cerrar tus ojos para sentir tus párpados…hermosas ventanas de tu alma. Frotar tus orejas de forma casi imperceptible…sigo a tu lado…por mucho más. Tocar por un segundo la parte de atrás de tu cuello, el tope de tu columna, donde choca tu pelo, que deja esa exquisita fragancia…que me hace olvidar el mundo…       

…Ojala algún día, espero no muy tarde, por el tiempo que sea, pueda fusionar mis labios con los tuyos, y elevar nuestros cuerpos, perder la conciencia de todo, solo ese beso importa, aunque dure solo un segundo…sería el más tierno y hermoso segundo…nuestro segundo...  
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Anís


Cúmulo de estrellas titilantes, grandes, brillantes, profundas, dejadas caer sobre tus ojos, como quién siembra flores al voleo, cayendo todas las semillas al azar, sin saber dónde está cada una, pero con la seguridad de que algo hermoso brotará.  



Resplandecen fuertemente dentro de su oscuridad, protegen tus luceros, como un tejado de la lluvia y viento. Alas de mariposa permitiendo un vuelo de vida, resbala la lluvia, se cubren del rocío, preciosas pestañas negras.



Inspira todo lo tierno, desecha lo que te daña. Capta las más sinceras esencias, que sólo tú sabes dónde existen, y te llena de pureza, tranquilidad, paz…todo es blanco, así se siente…pureza blanca, que te da la vida. Nariz chiquita, nariz mía.    



Sedienta de cariño, se escucha venir el agua. Viene por montones, a lubricar tus besos, tu lengua suave…tu boca…origen de palabras nerviosas, temblorosas. Ingeniería perfecta de tu maravillosa sonrisa…no la guardes, no la pierdas.



Temen perder el sentido, dejar de ser receptivas al idioma de la amistad, del amor. Como hojas almacenando las gotas de lluvia, para luego distribuirlas a toda la planta, toman palabras y las dirigen al corazón…orejas inocentes que abrazadas a tus oídos, atrapan con fuerza esas frases que te encantan…te enamoran.



Irresistible al tacto y gusto, a la boca y los dedos. Parada obligada en el camino de tu cuerpo…momentos infinitos, hipnosis sedante. Unión de tus polos, los más lindos extremos…te prometo sensaciones indescriptibles…verás reflejada la palabra pasión, cuando mis labios rocen tu cuello.



Noche anhelada, en la que caricias los invadan, sin más opción que dejarse vencer…e indefensos y desnudos entregarse al sentimiento, que destruye lentamente las barreras de tu piel…tersa piel. Escalofríos en tus hombros, al dibujar suavemente, con mis yemas su contorno…   



Alcánzame siempre con tus pequeñas manos, que yo no las soltaré…aunque puede que lo haga…solamente para cubrirte en un abrazo, que te envuelva por completo…y te haga creer, que tus pies ya han dejado la Tierra…aunque sea por un instante…ya recuerdas el medio más bonito para tomarse las manos en la distancia infinita y mirarnos sin vernos…pero eso es de otra historia.
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The Second Life


Not so easy to put my words, rather feelings in English when my mother tongue is Spanish. Especially if every time I write I do it with what is flowing in the moment, and never check on anything after I finish writing it. In this case it will have to be different, since the intention is to be understood as good as possible, so I probably wrote this in Spanish and then translated it into English, just for you (even though there's a translator tool on the right bar of the website, which can still be used for Spanish speakers that don't speak English).

Days ago I wanted to start with a topic perhaps not as gentle or neutral, but always interesting, and discussed for many generations until today, no age differences. Obviously there are some who do not even discuss it because they are sure of what happens to us when the lights go out. I respect all beliefs, I may find some of them ridiculous, but I respect them anyway, I mean I do not make fun of it (at least not out loud). The end, lights out, game over, transit, passing, second life (which I prefer), or simply death.

I think we are where we are fulfilling our role (whatever that is), taking up space, and living within a container (like a milk carton), which we call body. When the body finishes oxidize, then it's time to move to another state. All the organic compounds decompose over time, and the oxygen that gives us life on Earth, is the same that will eventually oxidize us... the best example is cutting a fruit and see how it turns brown. Same thing with our container, with the only difference that it happens in a less immediate period of time, or at least changes are not notice that easily.

Quoting Antoine Lavoisier, matter cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed, and then why us human beings should be different from the rest? That we evolved from the apes, Adam and Eve, extraterrestrial genetic engineering (which makes more sense to me), or who knows how many more theories. Why not all of them together?

It is true that the pain of losing a loved one will always be a very strong feeling, which is part of what makes us humans. But if you understand that death is just a door opening, a going to the next level, a promotion, rather than THE END, people could be glad that you are leaving this body and this world to go and explore whatever is next. I prefer to see it as a promotion, just going somewhere else, starting a new life, hopefully better than this one. This is why I try to explain and let my closest people know what I really don't want after I leave this place, at least in a material way. No funeral (or at least not a sad one), no coffin, no cemetery, tears are perhaps inevitable (the way I see it, they cry not because you left, but because they cannot go with you), but any ritual or ceremony they don't go with me at all. I decided not to belong to any religious group and just go by what life has taught me and showed me, which does not mean that I do not believe in anything, because it's probably the complete opposite (I believe in everything there is, all merged together, coming from the same root, but diverged into different branches, which is what groups created...men), and I do have several spiritual connections, experiences, or whatever you want to call it, but that's for another post cause it's super extensive, and also is not so easy to explain if I don't really know who is reading this, being realistic I hope that there's someone reading this (haha).

I try to explain to my mom that when that moment comes, she should take it as "see you later or talk some other time" (in Spanish or she'd probably won't know what I'm saying) because that’s what it is for me. For this reason is that I also try to live my life without fear, do not misunderstand this, I keep having fears, but I try not to live with them. Sometimes before trying something scary I say, "the worst that can happen is that I die", and because I am so sure that it does not end there, it's simply a going forward. Think of all extreme athletes, those who live life knowing they can die in a second, but the mere fact of wanting to feel the adrenaline keeps them going. And if you have ever had a near death experience, it only makes you have a different perspective of life and things after that, usually it´s for the best (ps: I don't do any extreme sports, maybe someday, not afraid to try though, just haven't felt the calling, and I'm too lazy too, and scared, ha).

And if some people are so conscious that death will come along, what is the idea of complaining about the life they're living, without doing shit (sorry my Spanish) to change? when I hear people say "I cannot quit my job" or "I cannot leave my wife/husband (not promoting divorces but sometimes I think is better)" or "I cannot move to another country", "I cannot change my life now", all those "cannot" are more a "do not want to". For those who believe that the road has an end, well, start changing your life if you're are unhappy with it or just want to improve it... dare, live, enjoy the details, you never know when this part of the trip is going to be over, and if you return, it will be with another consciousness, to start again, to live a second life, hopefully not on the same Earth...
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The Girl Who Woke Me Up


I remember it was a Saturday morning, probably around 9 am, so very early if you consider we went to the bar the night before and didn't go to sleep until 5 am. So there you were, your beautiful brown eyes, so close to mine, I could breathe your smell, almost hear your heartbeats, and I was so sleepy, I thought I was actually dreaming, and just keep looking at you like I was hypnotized. I think you were touching my face very softly, because I remember seeing your hands moving away when I opened my eyes. I knew you were talking to me, because I saw your lips moving, but I was just looking at them, hoping that the moment never go away, hoping that this dream would last a little longer…to this day, this has been my best awakening. 

Finally you left, disappear from what at that moment I thought was a dream, and I went back to sleep. When I finally woke up, I went looking for you, you were not in your room, your things were not there either, where were you? ...so I asked some of your friends, and they told me you left. They told me you came to say goodbye early in the morning but I was half asleep and I didn't realize what was going on…you were gone…I didn't know for how long, and that day I knew.

The next 2 weeks were so strange. There was this new feeling, that just started when you were gone, all because your face was the first thing that I saw when I half woke up that morning. Every morning after that I was hoping to see you there again. Sometimes I didn't even open my eyes hoping that I could just feel your fingers touching my face, or maybe breathe your smell again…but it never happened…you were gone…It's not even 10 days and I miss you too much, like I'm not complete without you here...

The 2 weeks were over, and you came back. I was so excited to finally understand if that feeling was just a thing, or it was something real, and this was the best way to know...It was not the first time I liked someone, but there was something different, maybe it was the different culture, the excitement of experiencing this away from home, where everything was more intense. All the feelings are felt stronger, emotions adding up...who knows if now we can disappear together for a moment, and go to that place where we were so many times before, but not having these feelings. I promise I'll hold you close, let's fly for a while...

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Sunday, July 6, 2014

The Back Of The Pages

As I try to follow your steps, they get lost in the fog, sudden moisture of your eyes. And so I lose track of you, blinded by the flash of your wings beating silently, struggling against the wind. The one that initially prompted you to come into my world...for you a lost, meaningless and hard to find place where I lay immersed...drowned without having a slight breath of life...real life.

Words of ignorance fired out of their mouths, formed rebellions in some accurate phrases, designed to kill the last bit of hope of that world yet unknown...that world that threatens with celestial wars, and an epic defeat that has been dreamed for centuries...

Few were the fighters, at that time considered disoriented, losers, for being on the side with fewer options of wining. And what easy comes easy goes...big changes take a long time in the making, the firmest pillars are not gestated overnight...and now who will be able to knock them down?...not those lost souls that now seek the comfort in those who were once their rivals...

The doors will be open, and these do not close when the sun goes down, or when the winter is coming. The doubts remained, they questioned the teachers of evil, ran away from their captors, and are now closer than ever to start the real life. All new, all you thought that was impossible...and all the time is available to write the back of the pages, those pages that waited for their absence...
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